The word “Eikyō” (a japanese term) – is defined as “influence, or effect.”
Leadership, influence, impact…these phrases are often thrown around in corporate circles to define leadership, your boss, maybe even you.
I graduated college in 2022 with a degree in digital media marketing.
My dream? To build websites, put together fancy graphic designs, mash my keyboard all day, make coffee runs for the office buddies. That…was unrealistic.
On May 9, 2022 I had the priviledge of joining a developmental leadership program 3 days post-graduation. I celebrated two years, and a completion of the progam on May 6 of this year.
What have I learned and what am I doing now?
Let’s start from the beginning…
I won’t get into specifics, but this is a guest-focused, 10 million dollar business. I was excited to be joining a growing business, expecting to be taught much…
Although these last several years have been chock-full of stress, anxiety, exhaustion, they’ve also been an abundant source of life lessons, learning opportunities, and lots of funny, and sometimes not-so-funny stories.
I was offically promoted into a lower level leadership role one month into the program…”Good news Tyler! ” I naturally assumed like most people, that leadership is providing direction, solving problems, helping out when necessary, and making more money.
I grew (so I was told) – I maintained the status quo. I kept the steady pace, at a steady pace. Don’t rock the boat! You could mess something up.
Fast forward to September of 2022, the boss sits down over dinner….”Tyler…congratulations, you’re a senior leader now.” Yes! I thought to myself, the ultimate achievement, a senior management role in a 10 million dollar business….this is great. Kick back, soak it in! It’s only easier from here.
NOT.
Things maintained. Status quo. Don’t rock the boat….
Watershed (figuratively)
"In a figurative sense, a watershed refers to a critical turning point or a decisive moment in time, marking a significant change or transition in a situation, history, or a person's life. It denotes an event or period that brings about an important and often irreversible change."
January of 2024 rolls around. I haven’t grown much up to this point. Experientially? Sure…here and there.
Passively…maybe.
Actively….definitely not.
Until I picked up a book…on leadership. Now I’ve done some studies, and I’ve explored the various facets, nuances and quirks of leadership. Not until this miserably cold and unsuspecting day in January did I hear about this particular book, ordered it on Kindle and began reading….
Eyes: Opened.
Leadership = Relationships
Leadership = Productivity (of self and of others)
Leadership = People Development
Leadership = (wait for it) Influence.
It begged the question…”who did I influence” To which I patted myself on the back and reassured myself that I was an irreplaceable senior member of management. I was influence. I embodied the very qualities of leadership that this great organization was built upon.
NOT.
This thought-this idea of “who have I influenced” bounced in my brain like a squirrel on a trampoline—chaotic, distracting, and endlessly annoying. This idea…this question ruminated in my brain.
”Okay Tyler…this has been bugging you, so let’s define influence. Is it the presence of someone in a life…is it the motivation, is is it growth? Is it impact…what is influence?”
“The bottom line in leadership isn’t how far we advance ourselves but how far we advance others.” — John C. Maxwell
I needed to know.
“Influence” is defined as the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. (Oxford English Dictionary)
Great, so Influence = change. To change people. That’s do-able…but not ideal. What if people aren’t willing to change? What if people are already in a position of strength and change would hamper their own autdidactic (self-started) growth. Yeah, big words…learned those too.
So I began thinking….(I failed Algebra 1 in High School….not a math guy, but I like numbers)
“What distinguishes great leaders from merely good ones? It isn’t IQ or technical skills; it’s emotional intelligence: a group of five skills that enable the best leaders to maximize their own and their followers’ performance.” — Daniel Goleman (Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence)
Adding “Value…”
What if….leaders….leadership is about influencing…yes, but at the same time, leadership is about adding value?
Ruminating.
At this point I began questioning my actions, my behaviors, my leadership, my status quo.
Tyler….are you adding value to those around you, or are you deducting value from those around you?
Another introspective question…”Tyler, who is better today, as a result of your influence in their life yesterday.”
*crickets*
I felt my world flip upside down.
My leadership was a flop, a sham, the worst kind too! I convinced myself that because I was in a position of authority, because I was in a position of seniority, and maybe a few more “oritys,” that I had the freedom to do as a I pleased with the people I had be entrusted to lead.
*rock bottom*
I began doing some more reading…
The Trillion Dollar Coach
Quiet Leadership
Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence
The 5 Levels of Leadership
I began reading these books…and I began discovering that leadership isn’t a role, it isn’t a title, a position, it isn’t even authority, it’s an opportunity and a privilege.
At it’s core, and as John Maxwell famously said – “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.”
I edited it – “The best (real) leaders positively influence and add value to people’s lives every day.”
These books taught me the importance of servitude (I did learn that experientially as I worked in our business)
They taught me that leadership starts with relationships. You can’t effectively influence those who you don’t have a relationship with…I suppose it’s possible and I am sure it’s been done before, but I have found that it’s far easier to influence after a relationship has been built.
“The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things.” — Ronald Reagan (40th President of the U.S)
Self-Leadership
Why do I say “the best (real) leaders?”
Follow my line of thinking…if leadership is influence, then I’d argue that everyone is a leader in some shape, form, or capacity. You influence the very people you talk to day-in and day-out.
HOWEVER….
If you negatively influence those around you, I’d argue that you’re a poor leader, unworthy (and maybe even incapable) of leading others.
Let’s dig deeper, and reference the bible. Luke 4:23 states – “…Physician, Heal Thyself” – this implies that people should take care of their own issues or be an example…taking their own advice prior to helping or guiding others.
So where does leadership start? I think it’s a valid question. If you want to be a leader…a value-adding, influential (and hopefully effective) leader, where should you start?
Start with yourself.
What?
Yes. Yourself….lead yourself.
I occassionally work with a younger demographic….(teenagers). Inevitably, they’ll ask – what do I need to do to be a leader.
First… show up on time, without looking like someone in PJ’s at a black-tie event. You may be there, but you sure don’t look like you belong.
Next… let’s aim for a competent and acceptable level of professionalism. Listen, dude, what was funny in high school doesn’t quite cut it two years later in a job—even if it’s a dead-end one.
Third… work hard. nope, harder, even harder, harder than anybody else….110%. Every. Day. Most places don’t care how tired you are, they just want to know if you got the job done and met expectations.
You want to lead others? You need to outwork everybody else, or you’ll never stand out.
Great, you’ve nailed it. You worked hard, you’re consistent, reliable, professional, competant…you should get that raise, right? That new office, more keys, increased credit limit…after all, you’re a leader!
NOT.
“Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.” — Jack Welch
Demonstrating self-leadership competencies, does not equate to successful leadership of others.
After all, you’re in the people business and the people business is messy.
If you happen to master self-leadership, then then next step is leading others. But think of this as less of a step and more like a leap across the grand canyon.
Leaders add value. Before you ever step into a official leadership role, you should already have begun adding value to the lives of people you serve. Your team, your people, your “minions”…you serve them.
“Your title makes you a manager; your people make you a leader.” — Bill Campbell (Trillion Dollar Coach)
Jesus did that. He washed the feet of his disciples. Selfless, servant-minded leadership. Jesus added value, He set an example, for the world to follow.
In 5 Levels of Leadership, John Maxwell talks about 5 “Levels” to leadership. You can think of these as steps, but continually engaging steps. Unlike normal stairs, you can’t take your foot off of the lower step, as you take the next step. It’s a compounding challenge.
Maxwell breaks it down like this….
1 – Build relationships with those you serve/lead. It helps them respect and appreciate you and vice versa. Without a relationship, your influence and leadership are significantly limited.
2 – Quality relationships with those you serve/lead, leads to productivity – your productivity and the productivity of your team.
3 – Your scope of influence multiplies when you mentor and develop those you serve/lead. When your team begins to develop itself, the results are immeasurable.
There’s 5 levels and that’s all part of the book, but those three actions lead you to better influencing those around you.
So here I am two years into this thing called leadership, and I’ve only now discovered what it means to lead, influence and add value to others.
It is comprehensive? Absolutely not.
There are other facets of leadership that people need to adhere to if they have any hope of leading teams and people effectively. I’ll talk about those in later posts…
HOWEVER, if you have dreams, goals and aspirations of leading. Start with yourself. If you can’t lead yourself, there’s a very slim chance you could effectively lead others.
If you figure out self-leadership, then start with asking “How….can I add value, and positively impact the lives of those around me.”
Conclusion
That’s where I’m at now – head on a swivel, looking for ways to add value to others. Currently mentoring 7 leaders. We’ll see how it goes.
As I continue on this leadership journey, I’ll share some of the lessons I’ve learned and maybe some insights from the books I’m reading….
My Goal: Add value to one person each day, make one person better.
Current Reading List:
Rare Leadership: Warner/Wilder
The Wisdom of Teams: Katzenbach/Smith
The Disciplined Listening Method: Reddington
High-Road Leadership: Maxwell
The Advantage: Lencioni
How to Win Friends & Influence People: Carnegie
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